Wharton question

I have a question, if someone can field this.

In Wharton's The House of Mirth, at the top of 125 in the Scribner's paperback, Miss Stepney gossips to Lily's aunt Miss Peniston about Lily's involvement with Gus Trenor and, indirectly, with Mr. Rosedale.

Trenor has been managing her finances, and does appear to expect some favors in return. Rosedale has been described as unpleasant in ways that suggest that Wharton disapproves of him, if not as clearly and finally as does her character Lily. Yet the only case against him has been that he's jewish, and vague impressions that he's socially ungraceful. Wharton preps Ms Stepney's decision to extend her tattling as follows:

[Ms Stepney] drew breath nervously. It was agreeable to shock Mrs. Peniston, but not to shock her to the verge of anger. Miss Stepney was not sufficiently familiar with the classic drama as to have recalled in advance how the bearers of bad tidings are proverbially received, but she now had a rapid vision of forfeited dinners and a reduced wardrobe as the possible consequences of her disinterestedness. To the honor of her sex, however, hatred of Lily prevailed over more personal considerations" (125).

Surely there's some irony in the counterpoint between anger and honor, but where does Wharton come down on it?